Chapter 4: The Brilliant Mistress-Maid Duo

The more Lizi spoke, the more she felt like a genius. She practically wanted to applaud herself for exceeding expectations.

"Hehe, once those beggars sneak in... let's see her keep up that holier-than-thou act and try to seduce General Shen!"

Su Ruan's vision went black in waves.

What's a leaky roof in a rainstorm? What's adding frost to snow? What's a teammate's fatal finishing blow?

This. This is all of it.

The original novel only mentioned the pastries. This idiot had gone and created a full "three-piece drugging set"?

As if I wasn't dying fast enough already...

Seeing her silence, Lizi assumed it was sheer delight and beamed, angling for praise.

"Miss, didn't I do great this time?"

Great?

Too great.

So great that she wanted to find a rope, tie the two of them together, and hang them both from the Su family's front gate.

At least that way they'd die with intact corpses—skip the deluxe beggar-pit death package entirely.

"Lizi."

Su Ruan spoke with the life drained out of her voice.

"Yes, Miss!"

"Do you know what we are right now?"

Lizi tilted her head, thinking hard. "...The brilliant mistress-maid duo?"

"No."

Su Ruan closed her eyes. Her voice came out through clenched teeth.

"We are two corpses that haven't gone cold yet."

Lizi blinked. "Huh?"

"Huh what huh?!"

A mouthful of old blood caught in Su Ruan's throat. She nearly passed out on the spot, her voice cracking with desperation.

"Move! Get to her courtyard, now!"

Lizi carried Su Ruan at a jog through several covered corridors until they reached Caiyun Pavilion.

The courtyard was dead quiet. Two silk lanterns hung under the eaves, casting the carved doors in half-light.

"We're here, Miss."

Lizi set Su Ruan down gently. The two of them crouched low, creeping to the door and peering through the crack.

"No sound..." Lizi whispered against Su Ruan's ear. "Think the drug kicked in?"

Su Ruan's heart lurched. She grabbed Lizi's shoulder, whispering back. "Already? That fast?"

As they hovered at the door, muttering and snooping, a gentle female voice spoke up right behind them.

"What drug?"

"Ah!"

Su Ruan jolted so hard her legs gave out. She crumpled toward the ground in a dead faint.

Lizi caught her arm just in time, sparing her an impromptu full kowtow.

Yu Qinghe was startled by the reaction too, instinctively reaching out to steady her. Her gaze swept over Su Ruan's wild, disheveled hair, and her brow furrowed immediately.

"Ruan Ruan, what happened? Why do you look like this? Is something wrong?"

Su Ruan looked up, still reeling. For the first time, she saw the original novel's heroine this close.

Moonlight mingled with lamplight on Yu Qinghe. She wore a simple moon-white ruqun under a pale celadon cloak, her hair pinned with a single pearl dangling hairpin—nothing more.

Her features weren't striking or vivid. They were like an ink-wash landscape—delicate, serene, suffused with a quiet, scholarly grace.

So this is the heroine...

Su Ruan's heart twisted.

That face! That presence! This should have been MY body! MY eight-pack-abs sweet-pet storyline!

And now it's all gone, boo hoo! Nothing left but a villainess shell and a mountain of catastrophes!

"Ruan Ruan?"

Yu Qinghe noticed her complicated stare—Su Ruan was gawking at her, plain as day—and waved a hand in front of her face.

"Are you unwell?"

"Huh?"

Su Ruan snapped back to reality. Every wisp of self-pity about the original owner was shoved into a corner by raw survival instinct.

Forget finesse. She went straight for it.

"So... that plate of osmanthus cakes I had sent over this evening—did you eat them, Cousin?"

Yu Qinghe's eyes flickered slightly, but her expression stayed warm. "Not yet, actually. My aunt called me over to talk during dinner, and I only just got back."

Su Ruan's heart, which had been lodged in her throat, thudded back down to her chest. She clapped a hand over her heart in relief.

"Phew... thank goodness, thank goodness!"

Yu Qinghe smiled and reached for her hand. "I was just about to have a little something. Would you like to share a late-night snack, Ruan Ruan?"

"No, no!" Su Ruan's back went cold. She waved her hands frantically, then lowered her voice. "Since you haven't eaten them... could I maybe... take the pastries back?"

Yu Qinghe hadn't responded yet when the maid behind her—Yingdeng—couldn't hold back a mutter.

"What's the Second Miss up to now? A plate of pastries is worth a trip in the middle of the night..."

"Yingdeng, mind your tongue."

Yu Qinghe's reprimand was soft, not harsh.

But Yingdeng wasn't having it. She pouted and fired back, "I'm not wrong. The Second Miss spends all day picking fights with you. Anything of yours, she snatches. Needles, threads—nothing's too small. And now she wants a plate of pastries back..."

Su Ruan opened her mouth to explain.

But what was she supposed to say? "These pastries are poisoned. Hand them over so I can destroy the evidence"?

Before she could find the words, Lizi beside her detonated like a cat whose tail had been stepped on.

Smack!

A sharp crack. Lizi had walked right up and slapped Yingdeng across the face, hands on hips, roaring.

"Who do you think you are?! How dare you speak to our Miss like that! The nerve!"

Her chin jutted up like a tiny rooster.

"Our Miss is the legitimate-born daughter of the Su family! Everything in this house—top to bottom—belongs to her! Forget a plate of pastries. If she wanted this entire Caiyun Pavilion, you'd pack up and get out this instant!"

Su Ruan stared, dumbfounded, at Lizi's flawless villainess-sidekick performance. Tears of misery flowed in her heart.

Original owner, oh original owner. Look at what you've turned this poor girl into!

Her aggro-pulling skills are straight-up grandmaster tier!

Yingdeng clutched her cheek, eyes welling red. She glared at Lizi, ready to fire back, but Yu Qinghe raised a hand to stop her.

"Enough, Yingdeng."

Yu Qinghe turned back to Su Ruan with a gentle smile and dipped into a slight curtsy.

"Please don't mind her, Ruan Ruan. I haven't disciplined my maid properly, and she's offended you. Let me apologize on her behalf."

Su Ruan was screaming internally.

She knew her wretched persona couldn't be undone in one night. If she suddenly turned sweet and demure, it would raise suspicion—Yu Qinghe might think she was plotting something even worse.

Whatever. Get the lethal evidence first, deal with the rest later!

So she gritted her teeth, channeled the original Su Ruan's trademark bratty entitlement, and lifted her chin with a scowl.

"As long as Cousin knows her place! Everything in the Su family is mine. What I want, I take!"

She turned to Lizi with a commanding sweep of her hand.

"Go! The osmanthus cakes, the fruit on the table, and that incense burner—bring it all out! I'm in a bad mood tonight, and I'm leaving her nothing!"

Lizi froze. She tugged at Su Ruan's sleeve, whispering urgently. "Miss... the pastries..."

Those are loaded with hardcore drugs! What are we taking them back for?!