Chapter 2: What Good Is Being the Prettiest?!

Jiang Luyi froze for a second, then exploded.

"What do you mean, 'kiss'?! You've got some nerve showing up! What the hell is going on?! Where's my pampered wife treatment?! Where's my night with the male lead, Shen Zhaoye?!"

"And what's the deal with that psychotic prince in bed?!"

The chat window flickered. The customer service rep typed at a painfully slow pace, radiating guilt.

[Customer Service Sweetie]: Dear, we're so sorry for the unpleasant experience... Here's what happened. You're the very first user of our "100% Guaranteed Transmigration: Pampered Wife Experience" product, and I... I didn't have much experience with the system. My hand slipped, and I entered one wrong digit in the identity-binding parameters. I accidentally... sent you into the wrong character.

Jiang Luyi felt like she'd been struck by lightning.

"The wrong character?! You're telling me I didn't just miss Shen Zhaoye's bed—I'm not even the female lead?!"

[Customer Service Sweetie]: That's correct, dear...

A bad feeling crept up on Jiang Luyi. "Then who am I now? Whose body is this?"

[Customer Service Sweetie]: Your current identity is bound to the legitimate daughter of the Grand General of State Protection... Su Ruan.

Su Ruan?

Jiang Luyi's brain raced. She finally dug the name out of some dusty corner of the original novel.

Then everything went black.

Su Ruan—the female lead Yu Qinghe's cousin. A drama-manufacturing, scheming, perpetually brain-dead vicious side character whose entire existence revolved around trying to destroy the kind, gentle female lead while delusionally plotting to seduce the male lead.

In the original novel, her screen time was pitifully thin.

She appeared in the first three chapters, spiked the female lead's food with a potent aphrodisiac, and hired a gang of beggars to assault her. The quick-witted female lead turned the trap back on her. Su Ruan reaped what she sowed—violated to death in a beggar's den.

Easily one of the earliest, most gruesome deaths in the entire book!

Jiang Luyi's voice went shrill. "You're telling me I transmigrated into Su Ruan?! The vicious side character who won't survive three chapters and is about to get written off?!"

[Customer Service Sweetie]: ...That's correct. You really know the novel well, dear. Impressive memory.

"Impressive my ass!"

Jiang Luyi felt like she couldn't breathe.

"So where is the plot right now? Have I... have I already gone after the female lead?"

The other side went quiet for two seconds before replying cautiously.

[Customer Service Sweetie]: According to system records, one hour ago, Su Ruan had pastries laced with "Spring Breeze Passion" delivered to the female lead Yu Qinghe's room.

A chill shot from the soles of Jiang Luyi's feet to the top of her skull.

It's over. It's over!

According to the original novel, the female lead would discover the tainted pastries any moment now, trace them back to Su Ruan, and then—counterattack. Game over.

"I want out!" Jiang Luyi wailed, tears and snot streaming. "Send me back! Right now! I want a refund! Keep the money, I don't care!"

[Customer Service Sweetie]: We're sorry, dear. Your body in the real world has been confirmed deceased and was cremated yesterday... There's really no going back.

Jiang Luyi's knees buckled. She slid to the ground, feeling more hopeless than the day she was diagnosed with lung cancer.

"Transmigrated into this walking disaster, and I've already pissed off the most psychotic villain in the entire book. This is a hell-mode开局..."

"What's the point? I might as well find a rope and hang myself. At least I'd die looking decent."

[Customer Service Sweetie]: Dear, don't lose hope! Even though the transmigration went wrong, there's good news!

Jiang Luyi's eyes lit up. She forced herself to rally.

"What good news?"

[Customer Service Sweetie]: According to the original novel's settings, your current body—Su Ruan—is ranked number one in beauty in the entire book! Even more beautiful than the female lead, Yu Qinghe.

"..."

Jiang Luyi went silent for three seconds.

Then she completely lost it.

"What good is being the prettiest?! Does it fill the gaping hole where her IQ should be?! Huh?!"

"And so what if she's gorgeous? So the beggars can get a better look? So they get more excited?!"

[Customer Service Sweetie]: ...

Jiang Luyi's chest hurt from sheer rage. "Say something! When I actually need you to answer a hard question, you go mute?!"

Customer Service Sweetie stayed silent.

The static effect around the chat window intensified—a picture-perfect impression of bad signal.

Jiang Luyi sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm down.

"I don't care. Fix this right now. Transfer me into the female lead, Yu Qinghe!"

This time, the reply came fast—but the content was even more devastating.

[Customer Service Sweetie]: We're so sorry, dear. The transmigration system is still in beta. Many features aren't fully functional yet. And the lead developer who handled the core code... unfortunately passed away from overwork yesterday. A character transfer is a highly complex operation. Given the system's current state, we simply can't do it.

"..."

Jiang Luyi nearly choked on her own breath.

"So you took my money and used me as a guinea pig?! What kind of amateur hour operation are you running?!"

[Customer Service Sweetie]: Please don't be upset, dear. To make things right and enhance your experience, we've decided to offer you a special bonus service!

Jiang Luyi stared at the screen with pure suspicion. She didn't believe for a second that this disaster of a customer service bot had any good ideas.

[Customer Service Sweetie]: If you can survive in the current storyline as Su Ruan and hold on until our system is repaired, I'll pull you out immediately! Plus, we'll comp you three of the hottest steamy transmigration experiences on the market—your pick! Guaranteed eight-pack abs on every male lead, pure sweet-pet romance, zero angst!

Jiang Luyi let out a cold laugh.

"And what if I don't live long enough for your system to get fixed? What if I die tomorrow—no, tonight?"

She hadn't forgotten—Su Ruan's death was staring her in the face!

Before the bot could answer, the chat window started flashing violently. The text turned choppy and fragmented:

Dear... signal's bad... can't hear you... wish you a pleasant experience...

Then—poof—it vanished completely!

"Hey! Hey?! Don't fake bad signal on me! Explain yourself! Hey?!"

Right then, a burst of chaotic footsteps erupted behind her, mixed with shouts of "Catch the intruder!"

They're after me!

Jiang Luyi didn't have time to curse. She bolted upright, hiked up her skirt, and ran.

She didn't stop until she'd cleared several streets and the sounds of pursuit had faded completely. Only then did she dare lean against a wall, gasping for air.

The cold wind hit her face, and her brain clicked into gear.

First priority: stop the original Su Ruan's suicidal scheme. She had to get rid of those drugged pastries before anyone discovered them—before the plot caught up with her.

Otherwise, this brand-new Su Ruan was about to experience the deluxe beggar-pit death package, complimentary of the original novel...

"No! Absolutely not!"

Jiang Luyi wiped her face hard, mentally cursed that useless customer service bot eight hundred more times, then grabbed a passing stranger to ask for directions to the Su estate before breaking into a sprint.

Wait for me, heroine!